Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Hope, "Nope," and a Dope

While waiting the other day for my tire to be fixed at Mike & Mike’s World of Tires (where the mechanics are Ernesto, Miguelito, and Mohammed), I flashed on some of the recent political news stories. One was in Newsweek—just another of their “ha-ha” articles in which they compared the characters (as politicians) in the films Star Trek and Star Wars.

I drove home, this time careful to swerve around the pothole on Sunset Boulevard that had caused me to be $55 poorer, and extracted my copy (or what was left of it) out from underneath my dog’s bedding. Ziggy Rottweiler loves tearing the guts out of liberal magazines and newspapers, and then burying them, never to be seen again. I’ve tried in vain to offer him the Washington Times and Townhall Magazine to mangle and inter but he only gives those a snout bump and huffs away. Dogs rule.

Anyway, here’s a prĂ©cis of the Newsweek article:

Obama’s “Shining City of Hope on the Hill” Administration—that edifice of supreme power—is described thus: “seriousness of purpose,” “helping hand,” “cool, collected,” and “villainous aggressor.” Wait. That last one is for Rush Limbaugh.

Former President Bush’s Administration—them shaggy cave dwellers—, on the other hand, are “callow,” “manipulative,” “pitiless,” and “obsequious.”

Newsweek compares President Bush to arch villain Darth Vader (no surprise there, though Dubya misses by the distance from here to Pluto of ever sounding—“May the force be with ya”—as commanding as James Earl Jones) while Barack Hussein Obama—so pretty, so eloquent, so much better than conservatives deserve—is a hip problem fixer.

The hipster, clinging grimly to visions only he sees, has “fixed” a lot of things. An example is when some U.S. banks wanted to repay their TARP loans, and with interest, Obama shut them out from doing so. Doesn’t that come under the heading “Creeping Government Overreach”?

Or would the modern day Simon Legree actually be stating [cue creepy organ music]: “Nope. I now own you, your lock boxes, your stock, and your barrels of money … [sneer] heh, heh, heh”?

He is promising more fixes, such as to hold back California’s allotted stimulus monies if Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger does not restore wage cuts to union workers (in an effort to balance the budget). Obama remains true blue to Labor in spite of the fact he knows full well that the Golden State is balancing on one toe, on top of a one inch-wide rail, less than a centimeter above bankruptcy quicksand.

This country’s most popular state is shriveling on the vine, but those unions must be saved first! It reminded me of the arc scene in Ridley Scott’s “Alien” when Science Officer Ash explained Special Order 937 to the remaining crewmembers about their chances of survival: “All other priorities are rescinded.”

Another fixer-upper on Obama’s list is the planned trip to Egypt where he will address the Muslim world. When this news broke my phone started ringing off the hook. They were mostly Lefties and liberals … I mean, “Progressives,” and all dear friends, who (finally) are starting to squawk about his compulsion to globetrot and draw passionate praise rather than stay home and work on deflating our ballooning domestic problems.

One guy even said, “How much validation does he need? He was elected, for crying out loud.” And that’s from a liberal who had mounted a 3’ x 5’ poster of Obama on his livingroom wall and swore he’d never take it down. It’s now gone. And, no, I didn’t ask.

While I’m on the subject of Obama’s wanderlust: in case no one has noticed, every time he is cleared for take-off (which does seem like every other day) the cost to taxpayers is enormous. Those jumbos burn tons of fuel; and there is the entourage to end all entourages, which includes an army of security and escort aircraft. They don’t work for free, and they all need to be fed and barracked. Or maybe they are laboring “off the cuff”: to be in the same rarified air with Barry might be payment and nutrition enough.

Speaking of Air Force “The One,” Obama can chalk up another resignation as a result of the presidential bird buzzing lower Manhattan for a photo op, which caused extreme panic. This is why the kiddies in this Administration should be marched to the White House woodshed from time to time, to remind them that they are representatives of the United States of America, not straw-chewin’ delinquents in a Sam Clemens novel.

It’s a given that, if this had occurred on President Bush’s watch, all hell would’ve broken loose from the Left for days, possibly weeks. But because the mainstream media are Obama’s fawning footmen, there was only a glimmer of this incident reported at prime time.

Then there was that emerald moment when Obama said “nope” to participating in National Prayer Day. That was a bare-face confirmation of his hard-about-the-mouth attitude regarding Israel, a stanch ally, and Christianity (Judeo-Christian laws and principles, after all, are the backbone of America).

Attendees of the prayer meeting typically are “selected Christian and Jewish leaders.” The dots connect themselves here, and Obama seems determined to sever those connections. And with what will he re-attach them, a fundamental re-ordering of our country based on socialist theory?

When grilled by the press why his boss would be a no show, Robert Gibbs answered with his usual vagueness, “He’ll pray as he does every day.” Reading the Holy Bible, or kneeling on his prayer rug facing Mecca? I believe the American People deserve a clear answer as to his true faith if, in fact, he follows one.

Finally, the “Dope” in my piece is Sen. Arlen Specter. He made front-page headlines recently when he jumped the fire line from the Republican Party over to the Democrats’ side of the Hill. We all know what happened there, so I needn’t present a vapid re-hash. So I’ll end this with a personal message to the new (disgraced and demoted) Congressional Democrat:

Senator, stupidity has the same shelf life as a Twinkie. So you’ll fit in perfectly with the other fruitcakes to the left of the aisle, in the section marked “Just Desserts.”